At some point I’m sure everyone experiences financial difficulty and it’s a stressful place to be. That gut wrenching feeling every time you have to spend money, knowing that it’s less in your bank account. At the minute I’m dealing with money stress and it’s really been lowering my mood and letting my depression take over. Which is why I wanted to write a post to remind myself and anyone else reading that money doesn’t buy happiness and there are more important things in life than money.
I’ve been with my Fiancé for over two years and in that time, we’ve never been well off. I can’t work because of my health and he found it really hard after being in the Army to find a normal job. We’ve struggled but always found the money to get, we had a good period where I got accepted for benefits and my fiancé was working full time, we could treat ourselves to little things. Unfortunately I was turned down a few months ago for benefits and my Fiancé lost his job so now we’re back to stressing and trying to live on as little as possible. It’s made me think though, some of my happiest memories with my Fiancé are when we had no money and we were struggling to provide.
My Fiancé lived in a bedsit after being homeless and I used to go over and he lived in this small room which was freezing, but I never had a bad time there. In fact, the memories I have of that time are fond ones of having to put two duvets on the bed to keep warm and going to the shops with £5 and buying the cheapest thing we could find for dinner. My Fiancé would make me beans on toast and we’d eat it on his bed because there was no where else to sit, and it was good. He worried that he couldn’t afford a nice meal or little presents but I just loved spending time with him, we could have eaten beans on toast everyday in that freezing room, but I’d still laugh and smile because it wasn’t about the money, it was about being with the person who made me laugh and brought me happiness.
We couldn’t date like some people, neither of us had money to go out for meals or go to the cinema so we had to make do with other activities. He’d come to mine and teach me how to play games on his Xbox, I would go to his and watch films and it never got boring. Neither of us could drive and when there was no money for a bus or taxi, he’d walk 6 miles to see me for a couple of hours and it was the most amazing thing anyone had ever done for me. I’ve had money spend on me in other relationships but it never made me feel as good as knowing, someone would walk 6 miles to see me.
Moving in together finally, we got as much as we could second hand. We couldn’t afford fancy furniture or expensive technology but we made a home for ourselves with what we could find and even though, the furniture didn’t match and colours clashed, it was the best feeling to wake up to the person I loved every morning.
Stress over money has been a big source of most of our arguments and at times, it frustrates us to the point we fall out and don’t talk to each other for hours. It’s been hard and sad at times, seeing other people living so easily and spending money like it doesn’t matter. Having little or no money is a horrible place to be but it also makes you realise what’s important, it makes you appreciate the small things, it makes you thankful for everything you do have and stops you taking things for granted. Money would make life easier and I’m sure buying myself things would make me happy but I’d rather be poor and have love than be rich and lonely. It doesn’t matter that I can’t afford luxuries or treats because everyday, I have someone here who will make me laugh and make me forget about my worries. I have love and acceptance, which to me is way more important than money.